Unfortucoincidentally, it appears that the GPS tracker stopped working on the day in question, so we can't ask you to see for yourselves how long it was. We're working on getting that fixed. Buit you'll just have to take our word for it that it really was very, very, very long indeed. We don't want to describe anything else about the day, as we're concerned that that might distract you from the sheer and unmitigated longocity of the event. So, that's all we're going to say.
...Except this one other thing: the small village of North Luffenham. It is a wonderful, wonderful village simply because it contains the Fox And Hounds pub. And the Fox And Hounds is a wonderful place because it contains a man whose name we never asked but who is the husband of the landlady there. We dropped in there at about 9:15pm, at which point we still had another 2.5 miles to walk. (Did we mention that yesterday was a long one?)
The man - let's call him Mr. Fantastic - came over and asked if we'd like to pitch our tents in the pub garden to save us walking any further. We explained that no, we weren't camping, but were only 2.5 miles from our stop in Morcott.
"And you're going to walk that?"
"Yes."
"Tonight?"
"Yes."
"That's a terrible road. You can't walk down that road tonight."
"No - it's fine. We've walked a long way already. Only two and a half miles left."
"Not down that road, in the dark?"
"Yes, we know it's not ideal, but it's the only route."
"Give me 15 minutes. I'll sort you out."
At that point he sped off purposefully towards the other people he'd been sitting with. We realised what he was going to do, and called him back to explain that it was very kind of him, but really, we couldn't accept a lift from anybody as we had to walk the whole way.
"No you don't."
"Yes, I'm afraid we do. But it's a very kind offer - thank you."
"Why do you have to?"
And now, friends, we'd like you to imagine how stupid we felt giving the following reason. It was the only reason there was, but at that moment it really didn't seem good enough:
"Because we'll be really disappointed in ourselves if we don't."
An expression passed across his face; the expression of a man who knows firstly that he is right, secondly that the person he's talking to is barmy, but thirdly that this is a situation in which logical and careful reasoning just is not going to win the day. Like a man confronted with a door-to-door evangelist.
He accepted defeat - well, not really, but backed down with the comment: "You're on a mission. I can respect that" - but warned us to be very careful, adding that he was worried about us and would hate us to get hurt. We thanked him again and he left, only to return a couple of minutes later with...
(and you'll like this)
...a pair of high-visibility workmen's jackets! Explaining again what a dangerous road we were about to walk along, and how all he wanted was for us not to be hurt, he bestowed these wondergarments upon us, gave us exact directions to where we were going, and finished with something along the lines of "Stay safe, kids." Upon our leaving, he came out, shook our hands, and repeated the directions.
And so it has come to be that, from the team who brought you the Pillock Hat on last year's expedition, we are now the proud bearers of the Builder Jackets! And we shall be sporting them proudly for every remaining step of the journey.*
*The last sentence is not true.
