Now you can track us live by satellite!

Yes indeed, you read that subject right.

By the power of the ElectronicInfoSatelliteInterHighwayTrackingLaserWeb, our position is going to be continuously transmitted and presented for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of a small white box that has been lent to us by some lovely people at the University of Durham.

Here's how it works:

• Go to www.trackingservices.co.uk.
• At the bottom, type username ytl (think "York to London") and password lty (which, as you may have observed, is the username backwards).
• Click on "Maps and data"
• and voilà!

(Note, though, that the times reported are in GMT, so you'll need to add an hour.)

Brilliant!

Cockney Challenge

Here's another one, this time from Ian:

Please bring me back a photograph of a real Cockney- rolled up shirtsleeves, big boots, thumbs in braces.Perhaps you could record a real Cockney saying something like " Gorblimey ! Stone the sparrers ! I'm just a-going orf dahn the frog with moolah in me 'and to 'ave a ruby an a pint" Or something of that ilk.

Well, that does look like an entertaining challenge, but one that we're sure you'll agree is a high risk one. After all, we don't want to end up being chased through the streets of London by an angry cockney shouting "Lor' luv a duck! Get aaaht yew northern bastards awer i'll frow my cockles at you. Know what i mean?" or similar (many thanks to http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/rabbit for providing that gem).

Given, as we said, that we're not entering in to this with any kind of philanthropic or generous mentality, we therefore challenge you, Ian - why should we take you up on this?

Will you be near London on Thursday 13th September?

You might have noticed that our final destination is a pub in South Bank, London. Well, there's a reason we chose that - we'd like you to come and meet us!

Obviously it may be a little much to ask people to come form all over the country (although do feel free) but we'd like to appeal to our London-vicinity-based friends to come and drop in for a drink at the Founder's Arms, 52 Hopton Street, Bankside, London. It's next to the south end of the Millennium Bridge and you can see it on our route map (click somewhere over there on the right). We're planning to arrive there at about 8.

Roll up! Hear ye! Come along! And bring your friends*!


*(as long as they're nice)

Rules

We're sure you'll agree, rules are important. After all, where's the fun without rules? Particularly when you're doing something as completely devoid of rational purpose as walking 230 miles.

So here are the Long Walk Regulations, proposed and agreed by Main and Main (June 2005), amended by Main and Main (August 2006) and further ratified by Main & Main (August 2007):

* All horizontal distance between your original starting point and final destination must be covered by foot-based step methods. All points between each sub-destination must, in linear and chronological order, be covered by similar methods.

* Step is herewithin defined as the action of, with the assistance of no mechanism, tool, or motor, placing one foot in front of the other and travelling forward propelled only by the force provided by the muscles of the body belonging to the person in possession of the foot. No wheel-based transport is allowed, and actions such as the skip, hop, jump, fall and roll are henceforth excluded from the definition of the step.

* Distance of a purely vertical nature may, within these exact guidelines, be covered using non-step transport. The lift mechanism, whereby the body is transported vertically upwards, is the only method currently approved for upwards vertical travel. Downwards vertical travel may be conducted using lift mechanisms or gravity. Any degree of horizontality, however negligible, is hereby prohibited.

* Subsequent to the previous point we would, however, stress that actions of constructing, installing, or causing the construction or installation through means including but not limited to contracting others to carry out the work, of lifts in order to get over hilly regions of the walk is in the strongest terms against the spirit of the rules and shall be punished by no more that one day's withdrawal of cake privileges.

* The use of non-step based transportation methods is prohibited only in relation to the initial covering of the distance included on the walk. Other forms of transportation may be used once walk areas have been covered, to re-cover distance. During non-walk hours, and to access non-walk locations such as pizzerias that provided excellent sustenance the previous night, non-step transportation methods may be utilised.

We think that just about covers it, but if you can spot any loopholes let us know!

Further requests received so far

• From Sam: "Legend has it that there exists a “gap” in the Watford area. It has never been clear if this is a physical, emotional or indeed spiritual gap. I challenge you to find said “gap” and attempt to fill it to ensure the health, safety and happiness of Watfordians…."


• From Jim: "I would like you to ascertain which town has the worst haircuts. Possibly ranking on number and type of mullets sighted. A full on Pat Sharpe Bon Jovi style Ultimullet being worth about 10 standard ones of course. I bet its Northampton."


• From Mrsham: "I note you'll be staying in Bedford. Now, you may remember that the film "It's A Wonderful Life" is set in Bedford Falls, and features a friendly old guardian angel. Your task therefore is to find an angel in Bedford; the more creative (i.e. deceptive) your solution the better. Your reward will be in the form of Angel Delight when you return home (or something else angelic if you don't like Angel Delight)"

The best purpose yet

We've just received a marvellous challenge, possibly the greatest one yet. Jon writes:

Making this journey by foot rather than car, air or rail, means that you will at some point have to navigate the north/south "divide" that is occasionally mentioned on the news. If you can take a photo of the team either scaling it or swimming it (I have heard its form can change) I will buy you both a pint! But beware, I have heard that, while once the "divide" was narrowing, it is now getting wider. Good luck!!

Jon, we shall do our very best.

The challenges, they are a-comin' in

Well, we've got off to a flying start. Quite a number of quests have come in already, and the walk has become more purposeful already. We've had to reject a few of them, mostly because they necessitated our being in places that are nowhere near the route between York and London. However, so far we have agreed:

• to collect a copy of a Luton Town programme, newspaper or other paraphernalia in order to make Dunc's recently-bereaved friend happy, in exchange for a pizza. Extra satisfying because we benefit pizzawise and a complete stranger (to us) benefits happywise.


• to do our best to wipe Nottingham from the face of the earth, as a special favour to Marc and in recognition of the substantial number of prizes he donated to our contest last year. We've got nothing against Nottingham - in fact we quite like it - and we won't be walking very near it either, but nonetheless will try as best we can. Precise method as yet undecided.


• to purchase a genuine Yorkie bar in York and take it to Nick in London, because he's heard there's a difference. After a stern reminding of the rules, Nick has agreed to buy us a drink in return.
  Nick was also kind enough to write about us on his blog, which earned him a few more:
  
  • to photograph ourselves with the person with the biggest mutton chops that we can see on our journey
  
  
  • to count how many dogs we see either swimming or with their heads sticking out of cars
  
  
  • to obtain items that represent as many towns that we pass through as possible - a lute from Luton, a hat from Hatfield, etc. Now, we certainly like this idea but it could get very expensive and bulky once we get to Safeland and Grandpianoville, so we may have to limit it at some points.
  
  
• to photograph every single thing we eat on the entire venture, in the style of Ellie Harrison's "Eat 22" project, in exchange for which Helen will endeavour to cook us a meal incorporating as many of such items as possible.


• to visit Wicksteed Park in Kettering and take photos to show to Pam's nostalgic mum, in exchange for which Pam will produce a knitted replica of a souvenir of our choice.

So, this is shaping up nicely into a purposeful and industrious project. Needless to say, there's been a great many impossible suggestions - mostly emanating from Nina, who is at home sick and clearly has too much time on her hands - but nonetheless, pretty good progress.

Welcome, one and all, to our pointless voyage!

Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! We extend our warmest welcome to you on your visit to our Long Walk Blog.

We're delighted to take this opportunity to invite you to join us on our mystery journey, touring lands as yet unseen and walking pathways as yet unwalked. It feels like only about a year ago that we were setting off on our trip to Edinburgh through the Great Closed Counties of the North, and yet here we are embarking on a new adventure. An adventure both brave and momentous, to explore the mysteries of the South and our final destination, London.

On the 1st September we shall be walking from South Bank in York, where we live, to South Bank in London, where we'll collapse and bore you all with whinging about blisters and similar unsightly problems that tend to arise on 230-mile walks. We even got a bit carried away the other day and agreed to include in our trip the Millennium Bridges of both cities (even if this will add a bit of extra walking as we'll need to cross the York bridge twice to ensure we don't set off in the wrong direction). In fact, to tantalise and delight you further, on the right-hand side of this very page there's a map you can click on to show you roughly where we're going.

Now, if you were aware of our last adventure, you'll remember that we had quite a distinct purpose for our trip - to end the age-old animosity between York and Scotland, by delivering a petition signed by 100 York residents agreeing that we would not shoot any Scots. Some use that turned out to be - a year later they're talking about separating from England completely. But we digress. This time round, we've got a bit of a problem. We have the shoes, the rucksacks, the clothes, the speakers to enable us to play Total Eclipse of the Heart during those diffiult moments, and even the mini-DVD player to see us through the evenings. All we lack now is a purpose - and that's where you come in.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: we're asking you to devise purposes for us. We currently have no reason at all to do this walk, and yet we seem to be about to do it anyway, so we thought we'd throw it open to the Great British Public(TM) to give us some purposes, some goals, some reasons, some - if you will - quests.

You may, for example, want us to compare and contrast Hatfield Travelodge (near Doncaster) with Hatfield Travelodge (in the South). Perhaps you'd like us to determine once and for all whether the streets of London really are paved with gold. Meybe you need somebody to deliver a bunch of flowers to your Kettering-based maiden aunt who always pesters you about the fact that you really don't visit enough these days. That'll shut her up for a bit. You might want us to present a report on the number of goats sighted between Retford and Grantham, or a paper discussing the possibility of a correlation between geographical latitude and profusion of facial hair. Or maybe you'd just like us to advertise a product, service or good cause of your choice, in a manner of your devising. (The only thing is, it'll need to be possible to do it fairly close to our route, so you may want to have a look at the map on the right. We've got 20-25 miles to cover each day already, so we can't really make too many large detours...)

Let's be clear from the outset, though - we're not entering in to this with any kind of philanthropic spirit. You're going to need to persuade us that your quest is worth doing. Broadly speaking, there needs to be something in it for us, or something in it for someone else. But you needn't (necessarily) pay us in gold bullion or Stella Artois. You could repay our efforts simply by making the quest interesting enough, or by doing something worthwhile yourself in return, or by getting yourself a good toy that we want and promising us a go on it, or even just by making us wish we'd thought of doing it in the first place. You can send your requests via the email link above, or (shortly) on our all-new phone and text hotline.

Please feel free, during our voyage, to make copious use of the various resources you will find on this our blog. The hotline is there for you, the public, and we hope that you will make good use of it by phone or text. On the other hand, if you just want to cheer us on or mock us as our feet start to hurt, please do leave us comments on this blog - you don't need a Blogger account to do so, just click the 'comment' button at the bottom of the post you want to respond to.

The game's afoot!